Until I get my white iPhone…

Max the cat has a great time on the internet with most browsers. But as soon as you put him in IE he just dies.

PRO TIP: It’s so hot out in the sun, so it’s nice to keep little Kitster out of the summer heat by placing it in a cooler full of dry ice! (true story)

Celebrate the independence of our country by blowing up a small black cat.

Listen, penguin. You can’t have it both ways. It does matter if you’re black or white, and there’s no option for “tuxedo”. Remember, the hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in times of great moral crises maintain their neutrality. If you thought global warming was a bitch on your environment, try hell.

Whatever, you’re probably a linux nerd who uses Android anyway.

It’s July already and I still don’t have my white phone. In reality, I don’t have to do anything to my kitten. We’ll just all be excavated by aliens in the year 3030 and they’ll wonder why everyone died with these ancient black devices except for this one poor guy and his fossilized cat. Alientologists will assume that it was because of some sort of ritual deprivation. And they will be correct.

dealbreaker:

GUESTBREAKER: You’re a Black iPhone

I’m saving myself for a white iPhone 4. I feel like I would be lowering my standards if I brought you home with me right now, black iPhone 4.

What? No, this is not a race thing. I can’t believe you’d even say that. I’ve had plenty of black phones. I even used to carry an LG Chocolate back in college. Well, no, it was the pink model. But still.

I know you are the same as the white iPhone inside. I know you run all the same apps and have the same problem with your antenna. I even understand that this manufacturing shortage is entirely made up. But I’ve already seen you in so many other people’s hands. Touching. Swiping. Pinching. I just think we need a break for right now. Maybe we’ll talk this through in a couple years. Maybe. But for now, I’ve made my choice.

A Guest Dealbreaker written by Dear-Steve.

My black kitten Midnight is always cleaning herself because let’s face it, dark colors hide dirt. The best way to clean that dirt for good? A good bleaching should do the trick! and I should be able to get that white cat I’ve always wanted. …if only she were an iPhone.

Ms. Woodsworth, my hedonistic female cat had her 10th litter of kittens yesterday and I finally decided to do something besides handing them out to kids on Halloween. I’m sending them to go work with Wrinkles at Foxconn, where they can be productive members of society by building my white iPhones for once!